Reading Bibles Pillows

Library In Heaven Stocks The Bible And Only The Bible

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Moses on the web

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

Caption Contest TK

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Bible Bloopers

Christian and Born again Christian...

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"I have an app for that."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!