Reading About Crime T-Shirts

'How much will you get if the building you're working on burns down tonight?... Five to ten years.'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'I couldn't afford the lavish lifestyle I was living. Coming to accept that was freeing, although, not as freeing as I had hoped.'

"One man's treasure is also another man's treasure."

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Puss in cement boots"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

Snow Crime

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

Dog detectives

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

"You probably would have gotten away with draining the bank account except for one mistake. . . you signed all the checks with the cat's name."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"Let's just enjoy our holiday. The whole incident with your stalker is over now. We won't see him again."

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."