Crime Novels T-Shirts

"If you've already sent payment, please disregard this notice."

'We ran some samples at the lab... it's dirt alright.'

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

A Pilferage Problem.

Detective with a magnifying glass.

Sherlock Holmes peering through giant magnifying glass.

"Don't worry, we can handle all the arrangements for your husband. We can even make it look like an accident."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"It looks a lot like him, but he would never have worn a tag on his toe like that."

"Tough questions. Can't answer right now, but leave your card and I'll send someone around later to fill you in."

Sleeping with the Gefilta fish

"If you do business with people who encase people in concrete, you run the risk of being encased in concrete."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"I suspect that you faked this burglary...Mr Houdini!"

'Luigi wants to know if you have considered consolidating all your existing debts into one manageable monthly payment?'

"You got a problem? Forget about it."

'It seems he really was trapped in a glass box.'

The Meeting

The Gangsters.

'As you know, gentlemen, innovation at the point of sale accounts for our competitive edge.'

The Butlers Ball.

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

'Just one more killing then I'll switch the light off.'

Their guests having left, the Millers returned underground.

Al Capone as a child

'Mr. Pryce here designed the Third Street skyscraper, the county airport terminal, and, off the record, the perfect murder.'

Detective.

White Collar Crime.

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

"Lou can't make the meeting. He's dead."

The inmate team will be weak running the bases this year. These guys get caught attempting to steal. The money launderer is the obvious choice to hit cleanup. Prisoners convicted of conspiracy are good team players - they'll bunt if needed. And the con man guilty of fraud will be the ace on the mound. Yeah, people always fall for his deceptive pitch!

Dog detectives

"And make it look like an accident."