Re-enactment Aficionado Gifts

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Piracy on a boating lake

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Missing You.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'I think they're up to something.'

Moustached gentleman

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But I use all of them!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"I got probation."

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Knight school.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

England.

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

'Well, it isn't all fun and games GUARDING this place, either, you know!'

The Army of the Potomac- A Sharpshooter on Picket Duty

Mischevious wife with husband in uniform

"God, I hate theme dinners."