Random Event Reveler Pillows

'The share market fell today because a Blue Wren was spotted.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"I say we move on to dessert."

The New Year's Dance

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

My own museum.

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

Two inebriated friends meet, one says: 'Hello, I've not seen you since you were this high.'

Dogs play the double bass

The ghost of christmas regifting

'Yeahh...I remember you...You're that...one guy.'

'I'm writing a poem -- what rhymes with 'hegemony'?'

"I should be mad, but that was an impressive hack."

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Christmas Fatigue.

"During the holidays, we like to refer to organ donation as 'regifting.'"

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"You look like a grapefruit squished inside a blueberry."

Christmas drinker

No Smoking in the Castle

'Methuselah's really depressed -- He's the only one who showed up for his high school reunion.'

"Umm ... I'm allergic to milk but not cabernet."

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, it was straight shots all the way.

"I think it's clear what the problem is."

"So, you plan to publish your findings?"

The Fourth Day of Christmas

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'