Random Connection Lover Pillows

'She dialed a wrong number and she and the other lady have been having fun ever since.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

King and Jester

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Egg Surprise

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

Jack-in-a-box popping out of a computer monitor.

Soup Surprise

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

"Surprised?"

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"Just say the word and I'll love you."

'It was a surprise quiz to me and the teacher - I passed!'

Puzzle Family

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

Mom, I gotta hang up. Jill's about to find the diamond I hid under the bacon she always refuses to eat!

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

Jack-in-the-box reads 'It's almost March again!'

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."