Ranch Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'Yep, this is quite a spread you've got, Bobbie Joe!'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Italian, Russian or Ranch?'

'He's on steeroids.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Ranch Dressing

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

Just another day at Helium Farm

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

Slow, Men at Work.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

'What's the night life-like?