Ranch Life Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Lazy Eye Ranch.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

Ranch Dressing

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

Cowboy Slippers

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

Slow, Men at Work.

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

I would ask you to cease and desist from sitting on my burrow!

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"