Ranch Life Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Lazy Eye Ranch.'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

Ranch Dressing

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Cowboy Slippers

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

I would ask you to cease and desist from sitting on my burrow!

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

Slow, Men at Work.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"