Raising A Toddler Pillows

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"It's just a phase."

A young Don King

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"He likes it."

Swan Fairy Tales

The No No No's

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Grounded

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"At least she's reading."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Act your birth order!"

'Three little kids and their first words. Can you find out which one is the British kid?'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."