Radioactivity Gifts

Radioactive area

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Pre-Television Man Caves

Non Thought For The Day.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Is this what they call inherent safety?

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

At the celebrity jobcentre...

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

'You see Mum, I've modified your FM-radio to be powered straight from the electric fence...'

Media Darling.