Radio Fans Pillows

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Non Thought For The Day.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Sports Radio in Crisis

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Not-so-easy listening...

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'No, the big rabbit Harvey isn't Paul Harvey -- at least I don't THINK he is.'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Books recommended by Oprah and Howard Stern.

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Randi Rhodes

Feelings towards radios #2 Picket signs with pictures of radios on them

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'