Radiation Ranger T-Shirts

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

Otto Hahn

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

'Look, it's quite simple. It isn't rocket science you know... Er... Well, you know what I mean.'

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

'Oh - It's you.'

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

"Quick, jump in with Joey! There's a fire coming: I'll save you!

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

Hunters who have run out of species to hunt, shooting a butterfly

Snowmobile caught in a bear trap

Help - "What's in it for me?"

Self-made man from the school of Hard Knocks.

'Mindy is glowing. Is she pregnant?'

Reverse Shadow (Rontgen's X-Ray).

Didn't that use to be Hogan's scrap yard?

'On the bill of lading it says 'humbly assembled household robots without intention to cause injury on export market'.'

X-ray technician with full metal jacket.

"Good, you haven't moved! I have the wire-cutters!"

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

"... Yeah. Just dropping it off now."

Nuclear Processing Plant - Welcome to the workforce.

"You've already adopted seven highways, can you really handle eight?"

Danger: Radiation

Ledge Rescue Service

"She's a rescue."

No Hunting. I have always depended on the kindness of rangers.