Racing Food Fan T-Shirts

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Local food for local consumption

The polar olympics

"Is the garbage fresh?"

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

'Bunfight at the O.K corral.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Sisyphus Pizza

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

Formula One car origami

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Sushi Train Spotters

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

The Bagel Wheel Derby.