Racehorse Breeder Pillows

'What hurt most was being beaten by a two-year old!'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Puppies

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

First past the post.

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

Good, but not Great Danes.

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

A Tongue Stud.

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

An inbred poodle.

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

"They were bred originally to be hors d'oeuvres."

Botox sharpei

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

Remounts for the Yeomanry