Racehorse Breeder Pillows

'What hurt most was being beaten by a two-year old!'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Puppies

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

First past the post.

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

A Tongue Stud.

An inbred poodle.

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"They were bred originally to be hors d'oeuvres."

Botox sharpei

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'