Racecourse Ringleader T-Shirts

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

First past the post.

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'Publish or perish doesn't apply to coaching, Yomp - it's recruit, recruit, win, win, win!'

'Some people are betting all their savings on me... I can't handle the pressure anymore...'

Race Horses See Big People.

"He's a genius at product placement."

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'I'd like to keep it a boys only club too, but this is HER tree house!'

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

'The health dept. takes a great leap forward.'

'Why do rally drivers think they are the only ones on the road?'

The rally driver's breakfast

"...and those are cheese and cucumber..."

'Wake him up. He's the one who started all of this.'

"That settles it, John! We're getting this bike a tune-up!"

Bus rally tour

Rival Jockeys

Now remember if anyone asks... you're the navigator.

Incentive

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

A Cowpat A cow patting another cow

'Honey, as CFO of our company your presence at the track 3 afternoons a week is hardly conducive to a sound corporate image!'

"They say jogging is the top sport today..."

"Told you it was my lucky day, I only lost £30."

Clown Car Lane: 10 or More

"The farmer has increased my duties: I now need to cock-a-doodle-doo at sunrise, morning tea, lunchtime, afternoon tea, dinner and sunset..."

"I think if we changed just one small thing about Teabiscuit, he could become one of the greatest horses ever."