Racecourse Manager T-Shirts

Great Attraction - Derby Racecourse.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Pay outhouse' with a sign that says, 'Drop 25¢ in can.'

"Me, I've quit racing. I was very good at it, but I just couldn't hack the early training sessions..."

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

'Some people are betting all their savings on me... I can't handle the pressure anymore...'

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

"What have you done?"

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

Panto Horse at the Races

'Careful. The house always wins.'

'At a glnace, I'd say you've got a dodgy starter.'

"Just give me a minute, Mr. Vice-President, and I'll try to explain the difference between contributions to the Nature Conservancy and greens fees."

'I was betting you wouldn't show.'

"...and those are cheese and cucumber..."

Mole living in golf hole.

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

Confusion on the Railways

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

'Look at'em... They're HUGE.'

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

Caliban Park

Clancy: Replay

'Bobby, I'll need the 12 gauge for this shot.'

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

Golfers! Do not walk on this fairway! Crawl on your belly like a lizard.

"Excuse me, is this a smoking area?"