Race Steward Gifts

'We need someone who no one notices, who can pass for a normal member of the public and is never recognised. Why don't you call Zara Phillips?'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Would you like some wings?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Eat my dust!"

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

Insect extinction

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"I make it myself!"

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'Stress'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'What a control freak!'

Nouveau wine