Race Relations Consultant Pillows

Closing Laugh: Race Relations Board - Closed for Lunch.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'Get me public relations!'

"Do you take dark money?"

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

More Unequal Than Others

But the President is a Black Guy

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

'I know zero about the issue, so I can't be called a 'Washington insider'.'

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

I voted.

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

'I'm resigning -- so voters won't get the satisfaction of kicking me out of office!'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

"If talk is cheap, why do candidates need super PACs to finance elections?"

"Don't forget - I was manipulating the will of the people before manipulating the will of the people was cool."

'I'm not saying I'm honest -- I'm saying that I'm afraid of getting caught!'

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

'Our telephone 'get out the vote' drive reached everyone, unfortunately, they all voted for our opponent.'

"We've set up a trap. . . I mean, track, for female hires to get to the top."

"I'm always impressed by these matrimonial agreements, as my wife and I have never agreed on a thing."

'Bandwagon Marketing & Advertising... Specializing in political candidates.'

"Hello there...! I'm your hardworking GOP Congressional Representative. I'm running for re-election and I would appreciate your support..."

'I agree with your position completely; you can count on my support.'