Race-day Diner T-Shirts

'... Say, are you sure we're allowed a lunch break?'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

A day at the races

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'How would you like your toast?'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"A votre sante!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

"Just a drop."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Meat loaf again!'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

"Did you order a starter?"

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

"Might I recommend the cud?"

Mom's Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.95.

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

'Watermelon - a fruit to eat, drink and wash your ears with.'