Quotation Mark Rebels Pillows

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Macbeth: Take Two

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

"'It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing'. … It's your attorney."

"I think I'd like to quote that in a tweet."

Unabridged Dictionary

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"If you prick a corporation, does it not bleed? If you tickle it, does it not laugh? If you poison it, does it not die?"

Shakspeare a little altered. - 'He lived not wisely, but too well.'

'I see dumb people wearing 'I see dumb people' shirts.'

"Winston Churchill said Russia is 'a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.' Maybe that's why we can't figure out what's going on."

Books: Bartlett's Familiar Retweets

David Cameron and Europe

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Baldo, I'm proud of you for admitting you were wrong, but remember...a man who makes no mistakes usually does not make anything."

'Children's Personals'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

Citations Needed!

"I'm gonna make him an offer he could refuse but won't because he's afraid of conflict."