Quitting Fantasist T-Shirts

'Has Hodson left us?'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Kid blowing bubble takes off.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

Leonard Nimoy

'Let's rock!'

The Birth of an Air Traffic Controller

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

Letter of Resignation

"Does it come in menthol?"

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

"It's time."

Man dreams of being rich.

"He's been like that for hours."

'Reading this grant proposal, I conclude that you must have gotten an A in creative writing.'

Bert always found plenty of rubbish for his compost bin

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'

I'm going to prescribe a nicotine patch. I want you to put it on your forehead so you'll stop thinking of smoking.

Alternative Treasure Island.

101 desert island jokes.

'Houston, I think we have a problem...'

Dear Diary, The bad news is that somebody around here jimmied open your lock and read your contents. The good news is that the contents are mainly fictional. The sound in the backyard of picks and shovels and a mad search for buried treasure is music to my ears.

"I'm looking for a spellbinding tour de force, although I'd settle for a high-spirited romp."

'That's just not right, coach. I mean, yeah, you deserve to get canned. But they could have found a less expensive way to let you know.'

"This is the life, eh?"

"Your greatest symphonies will be immortalized in carpet cleaning and dog food commercials."

If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body. That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000. Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he's concerned about mortality. Your answer should have been "nothing." The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy. I think I'd rather wait for the 7000-s. Stop it.

Bull Frog: 'I'll be the best prince ever! I'll bring prosperity to the land and stability to the economy.'

'I'd give anything to be in a dumpster in Paris, France, right now,' Paris, France, right now.'

You can't fire me, because I quit. In the words of Bob Dylan, "I ain't gonna work on Maggie's Farm no more." In the words of Ray Charles, "Hit the road, Jack."

"Get me the coast!"

"Wouldn't it be funny if they turned out to be the real us?"

'It's only until we find a way to pay retirement benefits.'

'I guarantee THIS nicotine patch will work!'