Quitter Warrior Gifts

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

"There are 168 hours in as week and I work 184."

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'I'll say one thing about your manuscript, Mr.Jackson - it's very shreddable.'

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

Letter of Resignation

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

"Does it come in menthol?"

'I couldn't give up fags, so I've started drinking long-life milk.'

"Well, you call it note-passing and whispering. We call it networking."

'After you stop smoking you're supposed to eat more, not drink more.'

'I still have alot on the ball-I'm just too tired to bounce it.'

'I can't stand it any more. My workload is killing me. I haven't slept for weeks.'

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

'Do the patches help?'

'Sorry, you can't smoke in the control group.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

Smoker's Lungs.

"This year, I resolve to give up smoking."

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'

I'm going to prescribe a nicotine patch. I want you to put it on your forehead so you'll stop thinking of smoking.

'I just wrote a novel on this phone and sent it to 137 publishers and got back 129 rejections in 12 seconds.'

"Please scream inside your heart"

You've been so grouchy since you quit smoking.

"Mr. Brown, my ship came in. I've decided to cruise right on out of here!"

Man emphasizing that he has quit (colour)

'I'm down to five a day with this new brand!'

Building called 'The Writer's Block' - ouside there is a 'rejection slip bin'.

Dear Diary...just Quit Smoking.