Quirky Trendwatcher Gifts

Pandemic Fashion

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Hair Crop Circle

Studies show foods work miracles!

Emergency Hipster Beard

Hats and Food

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

#notblessed

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."