Quirky Theologist Prints

Fundamentalist sex ed: people come from ribs, as Adam and Eve.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Pigeon Little

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Reverse psychology

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Hot cross buns

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

Priest with Christian symbol

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

Albertus Magnus

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"It Works For Us."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."