Quirky Tastes Gifts

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Kentucky Fried Horse

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Tzatzikicicle

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

Ice Cream Flavors

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

Octopi a la mode.

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Roadkill Restaurant

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

Eye of Newt Helper

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"And the insect du-jour, is that served in the soup or on the side?"

If the fruit isn't genetically modified, explain the fruit fly.

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert."