Quirky Snack Theorist T-Shirts

'They're not that intelligent.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

The Fast-Science Strip

Oh, Boy, Mom. A peanut and jellyworm sandwich.'

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

"My business plan? Well, all my friends are addicted, so if I can get access to potatoes and set up a deep fryer, I'll be rich!"

"Not eating your Cheezies, Miller?"

'Owing to the very real threat of biscuit-related injuries, the snack of choice for meetings will now be blancmange.'

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

'I've coughed up more attractive things than this snack.'

The individual cheese slice. Oddly, not the first choice for the truly individual.

'Manna! Matzoh! If I knew the food would be so bad on this trip, I would have stayed in Egypt.'

Pope-Corn - the Pope cooking his own brand of popcorn

"Tasty and nutritious? Any five year old knows that's a contradiction in terms."

'Not ME... I'm watching my cholesterol!'

"Man, I love roughing it out here...but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"