Quirky Self-help Supporter Pillows

'Woke up in a strange town. No money. No friends. Had to hitchhike to get home. Luckily, I still had part of one thumb left.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"Oh, I'm fine. I just had to take a personal day to recharge my batteries."

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'How can I be the symbol for happiness and be a blue bird?'

New from Low-Key Press.

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

Love is Love

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

'Physician heel thyself!'

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

Older cousin press

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

JWoww becomes fascinated with psychedelic therapy after reading 'How to Change Your Mind' by Michael Pollan.

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'I haven't been trying for years and look where it's gotten me.'

'Flea and tick circus'

"It's okay. I'm still ranked at the top of my class in self-esteem."

"I'm so uptight!"

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"Whenever I'm feeling down, I throw myself a parade."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'There, there, Mrs Hornsby. Many women your age go through menopausal facial hair growth.'

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

'Thank goodness, the publishers rejected my self help book.'

Success Without Effort

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical