Quirky Science Buffs Pillows

How to play with a radioactive baseball.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Think Tank

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."

'Oh dear. My son's an evolutionary throw forward.'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

"Well, we got the grant."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'We've created a teenager!'

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

Australian boffins are using kangaroo stomach bacteria in cows to stop them farting methane! 'Strewth!'

"Hi, everyone! Thanks for coming to our gender reveal party. We've got something really special planned."

Rats in a laboratory labelled: 'Test, Control, Pet.'

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."