Quirky Saying Collector Pillows

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

'When life hands me lemons. I make toilet lemonade.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

The Snarky District

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Inflating Boobs.

It's great for pulling the birds!

"Things are looking up!"

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...