Quirky Ride Lover T-Shirts

"It's just a loaner while my other horse is in the shop."

"I love you, you big fool."

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

Snail Coach

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

Parts of an automobile

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"Have you got it in beige?"

"What did you expect from a budget airline?"

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

Have you installed the heater?

"It runs on helium."

"Aw, c'mon ma, just five more minutes. . ."

Meal on Wheel

'Not my idea of an open top car'

Clown hitchhikes to circus

'Sorry, I've only got £4. You'll have to reverse for a mile or two.'

Tunnel of Butts.

'The Marshall of the Edna Badlands valued comfort over speed any day.'

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 9

"Now that I've seen this, I don't think I can ever enjoy popping bubble wrap again."

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

The M.R.I. of Love

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

Happy Valentine's Day! My friend is looking for a valentine's day date. She asked me to build her ideal man. She wants him to be tall and smart so I made him with long legs and a big brain. He has great ears so he's a good listener, and an extra funny bone so he has a wonderful sense of humor. Most important, I was very careful when working on his chest. Her ideal man must have his heart in the right place. Will you be my valentine?

Hog Wash.

'Something that can seat four?Well, you're in luck... This little beauty came in today- and it's built for twenty.'

'Yes, we do deliver to golf courses. What hole are you on?'

'You've heard, they're going to close this. . . lack of business.'

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'