Quirky Quotes Fan Prints

"I was born an urban bird and I'll die an urban bird."

You are the 1 I settled 3

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Check out the old dude.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

The Pencil and Sharpener

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

An Extraordinary Pointer

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

Mouse with a cat cake.