Quirky Product Reviewer Mugs

'Yes, it is true four out of five dentists recommend that particular brand...Lucky for you, I'm that one who knows better.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Great British Eccentrics.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

Best before 65 million BC.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

'Is the water cold?'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Ostrich Curoisities

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Unusual Offers

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Please enter your pin now.'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Focus Group Failures

"Does it come with magnets?"