Quirky Perk Admirer T-Shirts

"You're lucky this job became available, our firm has an unusually low staff turnover."

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Football Crazy strip six

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

Giant Sale!

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Perks

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

Slow moving and small brained were already two strikes. . . but many experts agree that the unfortunate stripe pattern was the main reason for the extinction of the Cerebex.

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

'What's wrong with you?'

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp.'"

Dog With Extravagant Face Mask

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Never forget that the best things in life are freebies.'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

The Reclusive Flying Hell Rat

Man with big furry mustache drives car with grill that looks like same.

'Well, Dear, if you must roam about the house dressed as a chicken, that's fine, but please close the drapes when you do!'

London Fly-Paper Vendor

'I know I just started working here, but is there any way I could get a company car, a membership to a country club and use of the corporate jet? This would greatly enhance my performance in the mail room.'

Frightfulness! Germans Training Wasps to Sting Highlanders in Flanders.

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

"Are you binge watching again?"

'I accidentally flipped onto my back and couldn't get up. That's the last time I wear a turtleneck.'

Circus News

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

"The rumors were true - you're the slowest gun in the West."

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

"That tie, Merrick. It's not your friend."