Quirky Performer Enthusiast Pillows

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

Rock N Roll

'He's maturing early.'

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

Football Crazy strip six

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

Marcel Marceau's parrot

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

The Costumer Is Always Right

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

The Dancing Academy

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"Would you like to see my one-woman show about the specials?"

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

"I got this new hat for when we do the collection at the end."