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Bad Office Planning

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Yes sir, I'll admit I was sceptical about the whole 'mini-office' concept at first..."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"You like long walks in electrical storms too? Wow! We get a charge out of the same things."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Here's something for all you animal lovers out there..."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'Pardon?'

"The sign said 'No Shoes, No Service.' This could be a long wait."

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

Computer Mouse.

"How many cubicles do you think this will penetrate?"

I'm sorry, but I have to let you go, Harpic- the office is going open-plan.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"If you're not doing anything after work, come by the conference room. We're going to be cracking open some beers and throwing some burgers on the copier."

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

New Year's eve plans!

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"Thanks for a lovely evening, fancy coming in for some nitrous oxide?"

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Play Ball!

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

'This isn't the first time you've been here---- is it ?'

Toilet Tissue Typist.

'I bet you thought I'd forgotten our anniversary.'

Working from home.

"Legally, we're a farm."