Quirky Nurse Prints

'Tests indicate you may be susceptible to the H1-N1 virus'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

Egg Buggy

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Plastic Surgery

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

"I'm going to prescribe you four metres of bubble-wrap three times a day."

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

'Everyone accuses me of being a 'control freak'.'

Sewing for Dummies.

"Yes, hello. I'm hoping you've found a cure for my hiccups...but I'm not holding my breath!"

Fakir on bed of nails reads an 'Acupuncture' book.

Dr. Potato Head

"The doctor is ready to maltreat you now!"

Man in hospital hitting golf balls into a bedpan.

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

"I'll swop you my liver for one of your kidneys."