Quirky Narratives Pillows

For several minutes, Norma's body is possessed by the spirit of her dead washing machine,

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

Fishing.

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

Hog Futures

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Centaur falls in love.

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'