Quirky Message Creator Pillows

Why 25% of greeting card writers don't make the grade...

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

I did it my way.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

The Origami Society...

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Giraffe Selfie

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Modern romance'

"I speak Latin, you know."

'Mind if I join you?'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

~ S.O.S.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

"So Dennis, Daphne tells us you work for Delta Medical Research Laboraties."

What makes you think people don't respect you, jerk?

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

"I usually work in snow."

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

Final Analysis.

'Ignore that, my pen leaked...'