Quirky Lender Pillows

"I don't mind ole neighbor lady borrowing a cup of sugar - just wish she would return the cups!"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

"You should consider buying."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Animal worries.

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Tropical Cow Tank

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

"Maybe strawberries would have made more sense."

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

"If you had $1,000, and I asked you for a loan of $23.47, what percent of your original money would you left?"

Low-Rent Stockholders

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

Garage Sales Anonymous

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

"That guy is incredible! He's coaxed the fish to invest 20,000 bucks...in catfood stocks!"

'The first step toward wisdom is accepting that no one knows exactly when to 'buy low' and 'sell high'.'

'That one is for folding money.'