Quirky Jewelry Enthusiast Pillows

'Actually - they're my husband's gall stones!'

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

A watch face with Stonehenge

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

A Zircon Is Forever

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

Posh Easter Egg

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

I think I have a gilt complex.

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

"Pencil eraser."

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

Ali Baba- Cover Design for Proposed Edition of The Forty Thieves

The Blings - collectors of jewelry.

"I need something that says ‘You were right about Trump.’"

The Queen

"We're going out -- of course I'm wearing my pearls."

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

Eye-catching Diamond rings.

'I have no idea what earrings to wear with this.'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"You haven't left much room for sun tan lotion"

'Nice bling.'

"Don't spend big on an engagement ring Son: She'll love any cheap ring as long as it's shiny..."

Mom, I gotta hang up. Jill's about to find the diamond I hid under the bacon she always refuses to eat!

"Whose tie?"