Quirky Humor Lover Mugs

"He's 104. He always comes back on his birthday - I worked out he'd be gone at 69."

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

'He never starts surgery until he can play the game three times in a row without messing up.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

IQ test for birds.

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

'Do you want to hear my new ring tone?'

I will not get within 6 feet of others."

"Hello. My name is Maury, and I'm going to be your crazy person today."

Customer Services - Ten complaints or less.

Data analysts realize their smart building has OCD.

'Now remember, he spent $400 on that, so no matter what, we can never play with it.'

"You heard me, professor! Get in there!"

"It's no disgrace - somebody has to be plain vanilla."

Designer Eye Tests - "Times new Roman, Garamond, Courier, Comic Sans, and Arial."

Caveman tries to carve using a pencil.

"Come back when you have a girlfriend with a shorter name"

"This is the only product claim that legal would allow."

Mrs. Hanover would soon eat her words.

Oil Derrick Crop

And then one day it happened: form, which always follows Function, crosses the line into outright stalking.

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

'This is one of our best-selling contacts. Price includes artificial twinkle.'

"I chose style over comfort."

'No, not disappointed - I think I just hadn't realised the meaning of the term kitchen island.'

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

'We will KILL whoever did this!'

Archer draws target around arrow

Teacher - 'Good morning pupils!' Children - 'Good morrrrrning Miss Iris!'

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

'You stated on your resume that you're selfish, independent, and you hate dogs. I think you and I are going to get on wonderfully.'

'We've run all the tests, Doc, and can't find a thing wrong with it. It must b e psychological.'

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

A recurring problem in van Gogh's later years.

'You meowin' at me?'