Quirky Humor Collectors Gifts

"Not sure how much longer we can live off the proceeds from your gold tooth."

'One moment gentlemen - do you have a reservation?'

Baa Baa Black Market

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

Two frogs enjoying a Martini, with flies as their replacement to olives.

'I do love a man with a dangerous edge.'

Vending machine says: 'No telemarketers will call' 50c.

"I know what I'm talking about. That battery is dead."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Toadstools

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Piranhaclaus

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Vegetarian Birds

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"Eat me"

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Cake Free Zone

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

A watch face with Stonehenge

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"