Quirky House Detective Prints

"These older homes are tricky. You never know what kind of pipes you'll find."

$1: Family Secrets

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"You rang?"

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'The name's Victoria. I was told I could find a gumshoe here.'

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

'I'm sure a little baking soda will freshen it up in here.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

Junk Mail Shredder.

'That must be the termite inspector.'

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

What's mom's deal? She thinks we lie to her. Careful with the work "we," my little peck. Girls never lie. That was a whopper!

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

"Buy a bunch of these tiny houses. When you need something bigger, they're stackable!"

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

Bad Dog!