Quirky Guideline Collector Pillows

Federal Guidelines

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

'Wow! The earache I've had for three weeks is gone!'

"It's a Citroen Picasso..."

"Where'd you get the business mitts?"

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

Tour of Cathedrals.

'Go away. I'm not buying any of your junk.'

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

The last will and testement...

'Ooops - here it says 'FIRST cross the desert, THEN eat your camel'...'

Crumhorn

"Another invisible box? There's no room for the ones we have."

'What in hell kind of a men's room is this?'

'Isn't this great? Now Winston can know we're excited to see him too!'

"Do you have a white on the fruity side, with maybe a possum on the label?"

A guide to ancient instruments.

'Ignorance of the law is no defense, sir. In THIS town, we've got ordinances against playing the 'Spring' section of Vivaldi's 'Four Seasons' on a crisp Fall evening like this!'

Safety Guide.

How to make every minute count.

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

Octopus-bagpipes

How to Read a Book

Skier with an anchor.

I only eat animals that were vegetarians

'Immediate standing' at Hot Dog stall.

Off Road Wellies

'Coitus Interruptus 6 page pull out guide'