Quirky Fashionista Pillows

"The first six are for bullets. This one here's for lip balm."

"I'm a religious nut."

Incontinent Old Lady.

'No money. I just want that hysterical outfit you're wearing.'

We're going to ask the bank to extend our overdraft - I don't think dressing like that will really help!

"You know what? I'm sick of clothes. I decided to go for a window treatment instead."

'I find it helps when I'm calculating the employees holiday pay.'

Fittings for jeans: 'unfortunate paunch', 'persistent lumps', 'just weird.'

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

Great British Eccentrics.

Spa: Pamper yourself.

Mad For It

Inventor names new fabric after his sisters, Polly and Esther.

"There were times when Sandra was glad that there was more than sex to their relationship."

'Sir, I represent Euro-Speed Swimwear, We're prepared to offer you 1,000 to never,,,'

"Great deal or not, the new choir robes go back."

'You said you wanted a style that shows your personality so I just listened to you talk while I worked on your hair...'

"Get him! He's wearing a blazer with a turtleneck!"

'...personally,I just wish he'd dress up in my bra and knickers!'

'I knew I shouldn't get support tights!'

"I just love these casual fridays."

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"Take it easy - that one's attached to my nipple."

'Gee,that's an unusual assortment! What kind of buttons are those? 'Belly...'

Members only.

Pants Uglifier!

'I'd have to say you've been exposed to extremely high levels of polyester.'

"Clearly everybody thinks this guy's the biggest freak in the office."

'If velcro is good enough fro grandma and grandpa, why do I have to learn to tie my laces?'

'Maybe I should get a cape...I never know where the heck to put my wallet!'

'Just curious, Dawkins, what does the corporate dresscode say about clamdiggers?'

Dare to be Different

'Uh-huh...yep, got that. '27 lock street, around 8:30.''

'Do you have a store detective on duty at the moment?'

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"