Quirky Conscience Prints

'I always take my lunch on fish stick day.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

The Map of the human brain

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Pigeon Little

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Reverse psychology

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"Am I sensing fear?"

Dreams I have had...

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

Large print e-book.

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

The lesser of two evils.

'I need you to change my mind on something.'

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"People were steal his ideas"

Evidence of the Mythic Unicornbrowcycle,

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."