Quirky Cocktails Fan T-Shirts

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

'No ice.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Shaken not stirred

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

Prawn Cocktail Please

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"They grow up so fast."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

'The first cocktail.'

I'm carrying a Tiki Torch for you

Easter Island moai as cocktails.

'I'll have another flu shot.'

'Shaken, not stirred.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

"Yes, our drinks are very expensive, but that includes your cab fare home."

Drinks

"With the return of cigars and martinis could war have been far behind?"

"I'll have a Bloody Mary. And bring a Witch Hazel and tonic for the little woman."

"Might I suggest we go to your place as mine is nothing more than a living hell hole."

"Jack'z the bestess friend. My wife still doesn't know where we'were that night..." Why we toast before we start drinking.

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

"Nan and Gordon are from California, but Northern California."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

Things I didn't know about before 2020.

'Will that be on the rocks?'

Santa and elves drinking eggnog.