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Aversion Therapy

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Home Schooling'

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

Benjamin Franklin

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

'Think Basics.'

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Pyramid Garden

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

Keep students on their toes...

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

There were occasional moments when she questioned her decision to work with truly gifted students.

A small clown sits at the back of a class room - 'Mr Jenkins, do you always have to be the class clown?!'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

'They canceled school today -- the teacher couldn't find her hand puppets.'

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

'A sinkhole ate my homework...?'

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles