Quirky Academics T-Shirts

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'Best way I know to decide who gets the research position.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

Illogic Tree

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Subatomic particles

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

Benjamin Franklin

Biocafeteraologist

When scientists come out of retirement.

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

'Are you sure Anderson is working on the Human Genome Project?'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

'It says here you like to push the envelope.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

The institute.