Quick-draw Aspirant Gifts

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Bench Press Accident

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I find you can't have too many man caves."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

'The test results indicate that you were drawn very fast and with the left hand.'

"I don't know which makes me happier: switching to natural gas to save money or watching the fight about fracking in order to get that gas."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"Anyone else having trouble drawing hands?"

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

Turtle nude painting.

'That's right, Mr. Thomas, a bowl of cherries, we don't do nudes.'

'Do you know any other poses?'

'I don't know what happened! All I did was say I went into medicine for the money!'

"I've tried seated and crouching but you really can't beat a sleeping nude."

'For goodness sake, Miss Pendleton, stop jiggling about!'

Life drawing class.

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

'You're supposed to draw something.'

"Could you keep still?"

"I know we don't have a garden, but I panicked!"

Green Fingers.

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'There's a bit of Rubens in Victor.'

'How much longer.'

Artist studies trampolinist.

Spring Painter

Life Drawing Class

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

Advanced Russian - Beginning Finnish

'That's it! It's mid-Spring and the Kellys already have tomatoes sprouting. If I need to shame you into waking up this year, well, I'll just bring them over to visit our garden.'

'Please make it rain on the garden but not the lawn.'